I dated a married woman once, and we were caught. I was in school, and she was selling on campus. I noticed her interest in me anytime I went to buy from her. She would ask how I was doing, inquire about my studies, and sometimes add extra items. Sometimes, she wouldn't even take money from me. "Take it. It's your weekend gift," she would say.
As time went on, it became a friendship. She would call me when she closed and was heading home—often late at night. I would walk her to the station, and we would talk for several minutes before she got into a car and went home.
One night, she asked me, "Do you think I'm too old?" Before I could answer, she said, "I'm not that old. I could even be your age mate. Don't be scared. I married early; that's why."
We kissed in the dark. Days later, we got a room and did it.
She would cook at home and bring it to me. When I was struggling financially, she gave me money to ease my burdens. I came to love her deeply and was always around her. Maybe someone saw us and reported it to her husband, or perhaps her husband noticed her behaviour and started monitoring her.
One night, while we were in our hideout, someone aggressively turned the doorknob. A voice followed with a loud scream, "Open the door before I break it down!"
She said, "My husband. How did he know we are here?"
She started dressing up. I didn't know what to do. She was more composed than I was. She asked me to run as soon as she opened the door. I was ready, but she didn't open it until there were other voices outside. The moment she did, I bolted out, ready to run, but the man grabbed my hand and started punching me.
The guys there restrained him so I could break free and run. The next time I saw the woman, we were both too embarrassed to say much to each other, but I noticed she wasn't wearing her ring. She told me her husband had taken it from her that day. She tried to downplay the incident to make me feel better, but I knew that such encounters couldn't happen again. She wanted us to continue, but I couldn't. I was too scared.
This happened in 2013. I avoided relationships after that incident. When I was ready to try again, every woman who came my way was married. The single ones rejected me without a second thought.
"I love you and want you to be my girlfriend," I would say. They would respond with comments like, "I thought you were my brother," or "Can't we just remain friends without you sleeping with me?"
Those who pitied me and said yes later showed me shege. Three women—Amanda, Erica, and Fafa—all cheated on me. The saddest part was that I caught each of them in the act, the men on top of them. Even after catching Amanda cheating, I begged her not to leave me because I was ready to forgive her. She didn't forgive me for catching her; she left me.
The pattern wasn't normal. It felt like I was paying for my sins. I caught them the same way the married woman's husband caught me. I couldn't fight them, even though the pain was unbearable. I couldn't even shout like the man did. I kept saying, "Eii, Eiii, eiish," until the men disappeared.
I took my prayer life seriously. I confessed to a pastor, and he prayed for me. I fasted for a week, prayed again, and he anointed me with oil, assuring me that the curse was broken.
The girl I'm currently dating, I met in church. She accepted my proposal but later told me her ex was still in the picture. Her ex is a married man. From all indications, she loves him more than she loves me. She talks to me about him but doesn't mention me to him. I'm trying to help her change, but it's an uphill battle. We can pray together one moment, and the next moment, she's with the married man.
If the curse is broken, then why am I suffering like this at the hands of a Christian sister? It feels like nothing has changed. I don't know where that married woman is now, but if I could find her, I would ask if her husband cursed me. I would beg her to take me to him so I could ask for forgiveness. Maybe then, this curse following me will drop off my back, and I will finally be free.
